


100 Reasons Why

by mariamuses



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 06:30:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13382130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariamuses/pseuds/mariamuses
Summary: Elain and Azriel go on their first date.





	100 Reasons Why

After the war, it had taken everyone in the inner circle time to grow accustomed to their new lives, with new nightmares, new dynamics, new people...

But to Elain, that new life came with the literal sense. She had died on that Cauldron, moved across the continent and had left all her social life and the people that came with it behind. To top it off, she had been given a mate, and a handsome one at that, but he was someone she didn’t really know, and their relationship hadn’t exactly started with the right foot. 

She knew Lucien was a good man, but to her, it wasn’t reason enough to force herself to accept some bond that was thrusted upon her, when all her life she had grown up believing that you get to choose who you love, and you have to choose right, for the humans didn’t have the mating bond and the certainty it offered. She had given up enough things to now give up her beliefs and values too. Even if it was a hard choice, she wasn’t going to be one to keep a male at her knees, begging for scraps when he, and she too, could aim for so much more.

So, she had called the mating bond off. One day when Lucien had returned to the Night Court after one of his many trips as Emissary, Elain had taken him to the garden for a walk and told him everything. Lucien had been very gracious about it, after all he had been waiting for her to make a decision, but it wasn’t too difficult considering how he had Vassa as a safe net to cushion the fall. Elain had agreed, much to Lucien’s disbelief, after catching Lucien writing letters to Vassa, that keeping correspondence with her was a great idea, even while they went on a few dates, to keep his options open in case he didn’t want the mating bond, so he wouldn’t feel trapped. Of course, Lucien wasn’t as decisive as her and hadn’t dared to call it off even when he already knew what he wanted.

It was a crucial step Elain had taken, but she hadn’t been alone in that journey. Not at all.

Azriel had been there. He always was and now, she hoped, he always will.

He was different. Always quiet, in the shadows, looking, observing. But also, Elain had noticed, helping. Every time she had something to do, he was there, helping her. He wasn’t as noticeable as maybe Cassian, Rhysand or Mor were. But to Elain, that only made her look at him closely.

The first thing she had noticed was that he was  _beautiful_ , in a sharp yet delicate way. Then she noticed how she was her best self with him around her. And when the visions had started to go out of control, he had been the one at the front line, the first to know what she was, the only one who knew how to help her.

And so she started seeing him too, under another light. How this male didn’t believe he could be loved, or that he was  _deserving_ of love. She saw his shadows, but looked past them; saw his scars but only felt his hands. How he could create with them, when they cooked together; or be gentle, when he scooped her up when a vision hit her or when he took care of her garden.

And Elain saw him look at her, too. That gaze filled with hidden love, but also guilt and sadness. 

And she couldn’t bear it, so she took matters onto her own hands; and after a few days of gathering the courage after setting Lucien free, she was determined to show him what love meant and asked him out on a date. And after a lot of convincing and giving him countless reasons and explanations that she didn’t want Lucien, but him, he said yes.

And today was the day.

He was picking her up on the House of Wind because Feyre had insisted that way was more romantic, him being forced to fly her down to Velaris and all.

A sharp knock shook Elain out of her reverie and she pulled the door open, looking up to a view that melted her heart into a puddle.

In front of her was Azriel, out of his normal leathers, with a clean-shaven face, black linen pants and a black, plain t-shirt fitted so it hugged his arms and chest. Her jaw hanged, but she wasn’t the only one stunned.

In front of her, Azriel’s gaze kept flicking all over her. First her eyes and the black kohl she had lined them with; then her lips, which were plump and rose colored; and finally her body, for she was clad in a dress which did nothing to hide her breasts, as well as the curve of her hips and finished right above the knee.

After a full minute of checking each other out, Azriel chuckled, tending a hand out to her and asked, “Shall we go?”.

Elain furrowed her brow, the lack of compliment on her appearance bothering her but remembering how hard it had been for him to agree to the date, she cleared her doubts out of her mind and took his hand, letting him put his hands behind her knees and back and picking her up as if she weighted nothing.

“We shall, handsome”, she answered.

And they took off.

Elain took Azriel on a tour of the city. Of course, he already knew all the places, but what he didn’t know, or at least fully acknowledge, was the meaning behind them.

“Okay, so this”, explained Elain pointing at a restaurant, “is the first place I ate after the war was won. I had been on the townhouse for months without ever coming out other than to my garden, but you convinced me to come saying that there were flower beds with flowers from every court. It was the first time I felt I could breathe after they pulled me out from the Cauldron. And that is reason number one.”

“Reason number one? Of what? What do you need reasons for?”, questioned Azriel, his brow knitting.

Elain wiggled her eyebrows.

“You’ll see”, she said taking his hand and dragging him to a new location; another restaurant. Actually, their favorite restaurant of Velaris, the one they frequented the most.

“This” kept going Elain, “I was showed, but Rhys actually let me into his mind, projecting a memory for me where you took Fey here, was the first time she ate out when she came from Spring. Also, where you and Mor and Cassian invited her to dance. And that, is reason number two.”

This went on for the better part of the evening, and Azriel kept getting more and more confused because, trying to pick them common denominator to all the reasons, the only one he could find was him, but not always her, or Feyre… just him. And it drove him insane.

“Over here we have a brick wall, with a big crack. And it’s the place you killed an attor on Hybern’s first attack on Velaris, defending a woman who was holding her newborn child.”

“This fence, right here, you helped a neighbor patch up after a dog had escaped and you found it and brought it back to the owner.”

The weirdest one was a kid she pulled up while she went on, “This, is Aaron. How old are you Aaron?”

“Six, but I’m turning seven in five days”, answered the kid.

“Oh, and do you know who this is?”, asked him Elain.

“Yes! He’s the  _spymaster_ , Azriel.”

“That is right”, she continued, kneeling in front of him. “And how do you know him?”

“He saved me! I was climbing a big wall, but my foot slipped, and he caught me when I was gonna hit the floor and BAM! We flew sooo high and then he took me to mamma”.

“Thank you very much, Aaron. Happy early birthday”, Elain waved the kid goodbye and turned to Azriel again. “And that is reason number thirty.”

And so, the confusion went on.

When dawn was nearing, they arrived at the river bank, where a blanket was spread out with a picnic on top.

Carefully, Elain strayed from the paved path, and with Azriel’s hand on hers, made her way, and sat down.

Az eyed the set up suspiciously, and inquired.

“Is this another one of your mysterious reasons? Because I don’t remember ever being here before... “

Elain giggled, looking up to him, still standing.

“No, silly. This is our dinner. I made it with help from Cassian”, she said, “He helped me make some traditional illyrian dishes, supposedly, the ones you like the most”.

As she finished her explanation, Azriel sat down and eagerly started taking of the lids off the plates, eyes widening by the second at the delicious food she had so masterful prepared with the help of his brother.

Eyes shining with not yet fallen tears, he turned to her.

“Elain, this is perfect. No one has even done this for me before... Thank you.”, he whispered in awe.

“And  _that_ is reason number one hundred”, she muttered, while grabbing his face between her hands, her own eyes lined with silver.

He cocked his head, exasperation brushing his features and trying to get out of her touch; but she gripped him harder, not enough to hurt, but to hold on.

“Elain you-”

“Shhhh. Shut up and let me explain. Please. I promise you’re going to understand everything”, she interrupted.

Azriel sighed, but resigned himself and shut his gaping mouth.

“Azriel, you are the most selfless, handsome, hardworking, intelligent male I’ve ever met.” She was interrupted by a stuttering Azriel, but she hushed him again and kept going.

“You’ve been through hell and back, yet still manage to live for others, helping them, sacrificing your time and money to do it. You’ve taking care of Rhys and Cassian as if they were your own biological brothers, you’ve done their dirty work when even they weren’t able to, loved them when they didn’t love themselves, believed in them. You’ve brought Amren blood to her apartment when she was in a mood and nobody dared to. You’ve known Mor’s secret for centuries, and don’t even try to deny it, but still you’ve love her so much, so she could realize she was worthy of any kind of love she wanted. But that’s not even scraping the surface. Azriel, you’ve been to me what no male before has: a friend, without any added relationship behind it. I mean, I consider Rhys and Cass my friends, too, maybe even Lucien, but the former ones are tied to my sisters and Lucien did it for the bond that was between us. But not you, never you. You always saw me, even in those first days when no one did. You spent time with me, even when I had nothing to give back to you. And then I fell for you. And I know you don’t think yourself worthy of me, but you are. We’re not mates, but I’m grateful for that because the Cauldron has given me the opportunity to choose you, show you how much I love you. Because somehow, if the Cauldron had made us mates, you would feel as if me being your mate was a kind of obligation, but now it isn’t. Azriel, I can see the future, but I didn’t need to, not to make this decision; it’s always been crystal clear. But not for you it hasn’t, because your opinion of yourself gets in the way. So, for our first date I decided to take you on a tour of a city you know better than anyone, but instead of showing you buildings or shop I showed you the reasons why I loved you, so you wouldn’t forget. But most important, I made you food, so symbolize how I accept the bond we’ll be creating together. A bond of our own, stronger than any other by nothing more than choice and sheer will. Az, I love you because you helped my sisters, you help others, and you’ve helped me become the person I am today. And  _those_ , are the hundred reasons why I love you”, finished Elain, breathless of all the rushed talking.

A quiet moment followed before Azriel took his hands and mimicked hers, holding her face and breathed.

“You love me?”

“ _Yes_. And I’m going to do everything in my power―“

Azriel pressed his lips to hers, silencing her. At first, she startled, but then she reacted to him, lips moving over each other in synchronization, heat rising in her stomach in realization of what she was doing, and how right it felt.

When they pulled apart, after what felt only a second, she blushed, and he pulled her into his lap, embracing her tiny frame in his arms and pushing away stray hairs from her face, as she looked up into his eyes, a contents sigh escaping her lips as he smirked at her.

“I can’t wait”, she murmured, captivated by him and how the date had developed.

“For what, flower?”, asked Az, curious of what could this precious being so expectant.

 

“For the rest of our lives together”, she concluded as a new vision of family and happiness formed in her mind.


End file.
